Ok so the last post was an April fools wind-up. But here’s a thing that’s been bothering us for a while: how on earth does Kylie Minogue still look like she’s in her early twenties? There are always tell-tale signs when you look closely at other celebs who have had some kind of cosmetic surgery. Stretch marks, loss of facial expression, saggy skin in unexpected areas. Not Kylie, oh no. She looks as young and fresh as she was when she was 22, she has a full range of expression, no stretches or wrinkles,what on earth is going on? There are many outrageous explanations: hidden paintings, bathing in asses milk or virgins blood, pacts with demons of the old world. But our favourite is that Kylie is in fact a human-alien hybrid experiment who has enhanced DNA. She’ll outlive us all but she’ll look great to the end!
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