“We have to unlock the TimeScoop”. I nod assent and lurch off in the direction of the history wing of Adhoc Towers. I am always scared of using the TimeScoop but it has been such a useful tool for so many jobs. Besides, the target – a Mr Henry Sherwin – seems quite blasé about the whole experience since the last occasion we brought him forward 150 years to celebrate his companies anniversary.
The problem is we’ve also got some Dragons knocking about, ready for a big event on Friday. Not fire-breathing scaly things: scary entrepreneurs who may or may not invest in some crackpot scheme.
“Can we keep the dragons in their den for another few days please”? Our dragon wrangler is looking frayed and harassed. “They want to invest in some lunch but only if someone reinvents the pie for them”!
So they’re in a pie mood eh? “Introduce them to the Oldham Kebab, that should keep them busy”.
THWACK! “What the-“! I flinch as a perfectly aimed blow just misses my head. Actors preparing for the BASSC stagefight course next week gambol around like schoolchildren with deadly knowledge, looking for a costumed superhero to beat up, no doubt.
As I approach the strongroom where the TimeScoop is kept locked away, I recall with dismay that the last time we used it was to scoop a Roman Centurion from AD76. I notice that the room is still surrounded with defensively sharpened pencils which have yet to be cleared. Priestess of Vesta next time I reckon, and I don’t mean noodles.
Right. Here we go then.
I have to say I love the noise it makes. A sort of a ticking, tinkling, with a background rising hum that ends in a soft, almost comical “pop”! Not at all TARDIS like. Mr Sherwin arrives, all smiles and 19th Century Ohio affability.
“Good to see you again Muh boy” he intones, shaking my hand.
“Good afternoon Mr Sherwin, we have your room and a meal if you’re ready” I reply.
“Excellent, thank you. and now if I may carry on from where I left off-“? He enquires politely.
Oh dear. He seems to have become addicted to candy crush. I sigh and hand over the tablet. Never a dull moment here. As long as we keep him away from the dragons.
